Jo Blogs......

I'm back....

2011-10-11T04:15:00.000-07:00

Uni has finished. And it took me five attempts to sign in 'cause I couldn't remember my password. But I'm back. And with all that's going on I have lots to blog about. I just need to get back into the groove.

5 things....

2011-05-27T05:22:00.000-07:00

Apart from visiting all of our wonderful relatives in England, Scotland and Holland:)....What are the five things you want to do when we move to England...

NOAH

Watch Tottenham play.
Go to Euro Disney.
Make fun of the guards where the Queen lives.
Walk on that road that the Beatles did.
Eat a taco in Spain (his list, just go with it).

HAMISH

Go to the UEFA Champions League Final.
Go to the FA Cup Final
Tell everyone I meet that I'm from New Zealand bro
Drink beer at Maccas in Europe.
Laugh at a Welshman (cause they talk funny).

Go to Midsomer Worthy and not get murdered.
Have a lunch of bread, cheese and wine in France.
Go on a Jack the Ripper tour of London.
Live in a village
See if I can find a pub in Austria that has a Schnitzel Night.

JIM

Hold a “River Cottage” style produce stall at a village farmer’s market
Speak French to a Frenchman in France
Go hill walking in winter in Scotland with Terence (cousin) – he did invite me at the start of last year.
Attend a ‘Skeptics in the Pub’ social event, preferably in Liverpool with the Merseyside Skeptics
Go to a few football games: one each at Wembley, Celtic Park, Anfield & Old Trafford, plus a few others

Noah's Perfect Day

2011-02-24T17:05:00.000-08:00

Noah was grumbling last night when I picked him up because he had extra homework. And he had to write. And he hates writing. Because he isn't very good at it. So he thinks. I don't know where he got that idea from. He had to write about his perfect day.
So Noah reluctantly took himself off to his room, sat at his desk and came out with this.

MY PERFECT DAY by Noah Holland 24/2/11

Have you ever wanted that perfect day, where everything was just going your way. I know I have and I'm going to tell you what my perfect day would be like.

It's Saturday...morning to be exact...I wake up...and I smell...something...IT'S BACON!!! So I get out of bed and get on the couch. My Mum brings me four pieces of juicy bacon (with toast of course) and I devour that bacon and all of its juicy goodness.

Not much later, I turn on the TV. It's a Pokemarathon on Cartoon Network! It's a miracle!!!

What's that sweet aroma coming from the kitchen I smell? I know, it's my Mum's baking. There are jam drops, cinnamon scrolls and cupcakes and I get to have two of each. How lucky am I.

The next thing is pretty important because my Dad entered the $23,000,000 mega draw. And the numbers are 4, 6, 14, 23, 91 and 17. WE WON!!! I think my luck just got better.

To calm down I go to the skate park with my Ripstick. I go down a ramp and while I'm riding I think this would be a great opportunity to do a really wicked move and that move is a 360. So I get some speed up and when I'm in the air I start to twist and nail the 360.

When I come back home I remember that we had taco's for dinner last night and that I always have left overs the next day for lunch and dinner which is good because taco's always taste better the next day.

After eating I decide to go and see our new path and in the kerb I see a thin green piece of paper, so I pick it up and it's (pause) a $100 dollar bill which my parents actually let me keep.

Around six o'clock the EPL will be on and it's Tottenham vs. Chelsea. Tottenham win 5-0 and Garreth Bayle (one of my favourite players) scores a hat trick.

The last thing to do in my day is to play Pokemon with Hamish (my brother) and I beat him. I beat him with the fire Pokemon Flareon.

This would be the best day ever. I wish it would come true.

Not your average weight loss post

2011-01-25T00:01:00.000-08:00

Now, I feel like I need a disclaimer before I start.
I'm a believer in being happy with who you are. I don't believe in dieting as such. I refuse to pay money to lose weight. I will not put a shake, a pill or a reconstituted meal in my mouth.
But I do need the too many, too small clothes in my wardrobe to fit me.
I do need to be able to walk up a hill without gasping for breath like a pack a day smoker.
I do need to be able to know that a Target size 12 or a Suzanne Grae M will fit, without having to try it on.
Yes, I said Target. I'm a girl with simple needs. And yes, I said a 12. I'm a realist.
So my sisters and I are joining forces. (sisters, not sistas, these are the blood related kind)
We started off with 14 kilos in 14 weeks. But I thought that might be setting us up to fail. So I suggested 10 kilos. We're not doing it as a competition. There isn't a prize for the winner. We're not just doing it for our original 14 weeks, we're doing this forever ( did I tell you both this?). We're doing it because we need to.

For the first time in my life I am eating cereal for breakfast everyday. Just a simple bowl of cereal. I have finished a whole box of Special K for the first time ever. Ok, just incase you were wondering, I didn't finish the whole box in one sitting.
Jim, the serial cereal eater, found my discovery of eating a normal healthy breakfast everyday and not being even remotely hungry until late lunchtime hilarious. Well, I think he was laughing when he had his head in his hands and then started banging his head on the table.
I have, without intention, given up bread. I don't know when we started eating white bread again but I was having two slices, almost burnt, cold, with lashings of butter, every morning ( I promise I did not salivate writing that ). We're back on wholemeal and grainy and because I'm genuinely hungry at lunch time, I'm having something more substantial than a sandwich.
I have stopped having sugar in my coffee. I'm ok with sugar free tea but I only drink that from 4pm. The rest of the day I drink decaf. Please do not challenge me on why I will not put chemically enhanced margarine into my body and yet happily drink decaf coffee. It's just the way it is. It's probably the same logic as to why when I get meat from the butcher, without knowing how happy the cows have been, I don't take their free eggs 'cause they only offer cage eggs and that's cruel.
Sugar is my enemy. White poison. I could live forever not eating chocolate but a bag of minties, kool mints, jellies etc etc are my downfall. I just can't buy them. The same rule applies to biscuits. There is no middle ground here. I can't pace myself and have one a day. It's all or nothing. And I have to choose nothing.
Wine time. It has to go. But I'm 40 next week, so rather than setting myself up to fail, it gets to stay until after my birthday. But I have switched to low alcohol wine. Still not great but has to be a little better. Please tell me it's better. Please....
C25K. Couch to 5km in 9 weeks. I've read about it. Ive googled it. I've downloaded the iphone app. I've just yet to do it. A free running program online that gets you from the couch to either running 5km or for 30 minutes. I've been wanting to run for ages. I use to be able to do it but forgot somewhere along the way. When school goes back on Feb 1, I start running.
Using my muscles again and getting strong. Hamish wanted to hire a home gym. He and Jim went out to look at them. They came home with one they'd bought. Happy Birthday Hamish! The added bonus (along with the health benefits) meant that a 17 year old boy gutted and completely reorganised his room to fit the gym in.
I would like to point out that I have been in the pool most days with a 10 year old and despite my best effort to lie on my blow up bed, I don't get much peace so have been moving lots in there.

1.5kg loss so far. And a haircut. Which always makes you feel good.
Feel free to join me. Sisters and Sistas welcome.

my 'Not" New Years Resolutions

2011-01-04T02:22:00.000-08:00

In 2011......

I will not be giving up wheat, dairy or red meat.
I will not remember everyone's birthday on the day.
I will not feel guilty when I have to say no.
I will not become interested in English football.
I will not bungy jump, sky dive or go up in a hot air balloon.
I will not be using any homeopathic remedies.
I will not be ironing anything that can be folded neatly.
I will not be getting a perm.
I will not go to a chiropractor.
I will not be painting my lounge room blue.
I will not start wearing sensible shoes.
I will not be getting a cat.
I will not always know where my glasses are.
I will not start to make phone calls when I can text.
I will not eat black pudding, lolly mint leaves or tinned tuna.
I will not drink beer.
I will not keep track of who is in the Australian Cricket team.
I will not watch Avatar or Harry Potter.
I will not stop buying books.
I will not be ordering my own birthday cake.

Trust me, this is so much easier.

My Christmas Guide

2010-12-17T23:58:00.000-08:00

My guide to Christmas....

1. Household appliances are not presents.

2. No matter what else you buy your children, you should also include the staples of something new to wear, something to read, something to watch/do and something to eat.

3. Do not make your children leave the house on Christmas Day. We made this rule and it has worked well for us. Nothing worse than opening presents and then having to get packed up and leave.

4. One of the best presents my kids get is a goodie bag. Forget pre made chocolate stockings, buy big gift bags and fill with food and treats that they love. I challenge you to find a shop bought stocking that has Nacho Cheese Doritos, Woolies Home Brand Strawberries and Cream lollies and a can of Fanta in it.

5. Despite the fact I will have to fund it, I still think it's important that we all buy each other a present. The thought that's gone into the choosing is more important than who handed over the cash.

6. Christmas cake and Christmas puddings are not real desserts.

7. No matter how much you plan ahead, you will still end up in Christmas morning photos wearing your pyjamas and with bed hair.

8. If you buy your children a board game, you will be expected to play it on Christmas Day. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, it's just how it is. Don't say you weren't warned.

9. Buy your Christmas crackers early and carefully study the back of the packet before you buy. You want to make sure you get top quality plastic crap.

10. It is perfectly normal to want to take the tree down on Boxing Day.

Merry Christmas

The Noodle Salad Story

2010-10-31T03:42:00.000-07:00

Nearly 17 years ago I met two lifelong friends. There were only three of us in our CAFHS group and we just clicked. After our six weeks or whatever of weekly meetings we decided to continue as our own little group. I can't remember how we came up with the rules but it was decided that whoever hosted the weekly meeting at their house provided lunch and the other two provided salad or dessert. It was so much fun. Stressful at times when you were doing the lunch but it made you push yourself to create something new and exciting and tasty.
One week, Liz had salad. She made the most amazing chinese cabbage and noodle salad I had ever eaten. I asked her for the recipe but she wouldn't give it to me. It was her secret. But she made it often and I loved it.
When the time came for me to leave Newcastle, as a farewell gift, Liz gave me gave me her recipe. I felt like I had been let into a long held secret. I felt privileged. I wrote it carefully into a little journal I have of all things precious.
As we moved around that noodle salad became my signature dish. Whenever I had to take something to a dinner/gathering/bbq it was what I took. People would ask me for the recipe and I would smile and say sorry, I can't do that. That recipe had been forward to me in trust. Trust that I would keep it to myself.
Then on his way home from Townsville, Jim stopped off to see friends of ours in Canberra. He rang me in great excitement to say that they had my salad at dinner. What? Someone else had the secret recipe. But I really liked Chantal and decided it must be fate that she had also been granted the gift of the recipe.
Back home and I continued to make the salad, people continued to gush over the taste and I continued to gloat over how good it was.
We were invited to a bbq by some friends of Jim. No, I didn't need to bring anything, it was being catered for. I ummed and ahhed about taking my salad anyway. I even bought the ingredients. But at the last minute decided not to. Not to take my average sized bowl of deliciousness.
Just after we arrived, with only bottles of wine in tow, in walked the only person I really didn't like. And what was she carrying? The biggest, most exquisite bowl full of my salad I have ever seen.
I swear my heart stopped.
Now one of the secrets of this salad is not to add the noodles until just before serving. So you make the salad, and sit the noodles in their packet on top.
I was stunned that she too knew the secret but felt that this might be a real bonding experience for us.
So I said, "I can't believe you know how to make this salad too"
She looked at me, didn't say a word, picked up the packet of noodles, the same noodles I'd been using for the past 13 years, turned them over and said, "the recipe is on the back of the packet".
Think about how you felt when you found out Santa wasn't real.
That doesn't even come close.

A Halloween Story...not my finest moment.

2010-10-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago I had noticed our next door neighbour setting something up in her driveway. I didn't pay too much attention, just waved as I drove off. That's the kind of relationship we have with her, we wave and say hello and that's about it. Oh, and find her in our bushes, wearing her dressing gown, looking for her cat.

Anyway, I noticed yesterday that she had started to fill the table with what looked like candles and flowers and around it she had lots of religious statues and big framed pictures.

Last night it suddenly dawned on me that it was almost Halloween and that's what she had been setting up for. I crept out in the dark to try and have a closer look. To say it freaked me out is an understatement.

The candles were all lit and I swear it was an altar.

I came in and did what I do best. I Googled. Spanish Halloween Traditions (she's Spanish) This is what I found.

Mexico, Latin America And Spain

Among Spanish-speaking nations, particularly Mexico, Latin America, and Spain, Halloween is known as "El Dia de los Muertos." the days of the dead, a three-day celebration that begins on the evening of October 31 and culminates on November 2. This is an ancient festivity that has been transformed throughout the years. It was originally intended in prehistoric Mexico to celebrate children and the dead. Mexican families remember their dead and the continuity of life. It is a joyous and happy holiday...a time to remember friends and family who have died. Officially commemorated on November 2 (All Souls' Day), the three-day celebration actually begins on the evening of October 31. Designed to honor the dead who are believed to return to their homes on Halloween, many families construct an altar in their home and decorate it with candy, flowers, photographs, fresh water and samples of the deceased's favorite foods and drinks. Frequently, a basin and towel are left out in order that the spirit can wash prior to indulging in the feast. Candles are incense are burned to help the departed find his or her way home.

A chill went down my spine. What the hell was going on next door. I was so creeped out at the thought of someone preparing a feast for their dead relatives spirits to come and eat.
What if the spirits, that I didn't believe in, came here instead. The story was all fitting together perfectly in my mind.
I just knew I would have a nightmare about it. It happens when I watch Dexter, I always dream about murdering someone. And my subconscious brain did not disappoint. Jim played the part of my possessed, angry husband who accused me of burning blankets in our front garden as some kind of offering and then proceeded to tickle me on the neck with one. Which I felt in real life and woke up in fright. Now, I realise it was just the corner of the quilt but when you're in the moment it's hard to think straight.
When I got up and opened my curtains, I noticed a couple of walkers stopped in her driveway, looking at her altar. I knew it wasn't just me that found it really strange. Then cars started to go past slowly so they could see. Was it going to become a local phenomenon? Were the press going to turn up?
I was finally able to share the entire story with Jim who had missed all of the excitement having been at work 'till the early hours of the morning.
He didn't share my concerns. He likened it to me leaving out a bucket of water and a carrot for Rudolf. Or a beer and a shortbread for Santa. I couldn't believe it. Didn't he find the whole thing unnerving? And this was nothing like my Christmas traditions. I was so disappointed at his lack of support I declared to myself that from now on Santa gets a nice bottle of sauvignon blanc at Christmas instead of beer. Because after all, she deserves it, considering she does all the work.
I tried to keep myself busy, trying not to think about what tonight would bring. What dreams tonight would bring. What else was going on in the house next door that I couldn't see.
Then Jim came back in from being out the front. He asked me if I had spoken to A........ about what was in her driveway. Of course I hadn't, was he crazy? So he asked how I knew what was going on. Um, hello.... candles, flowers, paintings of dead people, religious statues, google. It didn't take a genius to work it out. He then told me to go out and look at the end of her driveway.
What the hell was going on now?
At the end of her driveway was a box.
A big cardboard box
And on the box, was written.....

GARAGE SALE

I swear her outdoor table looked just like an altar to me.

What did you do in the holidays?

2010-10-12T02:46:00.000-07:00

First day of a new term today. I've been around long enough to know that part of a teachers planning for the first day is to write or talk about what you did in the holidays.
Today did not disappoint.

If I were Noah, this is what I would have said......

In the holidays I went on a great houseboat holiday on the Murray River. The houseboat was fantastic, 5 star. It was huge and on the upper deck there was a jacuzzi that we went in everyday. My Uncle bought along a ski boat and we got to go tubing, kneeboarding, Hamish tried wakeboarding and he and Dad went skiing. We even got my Mum on the Big Banana. We did actually get her on the Airhead briefly but my brother decided to show off and stand up which resulted in Mum being thrown into the freezing, dirty river water and that was the end of it. I cut my eye open when the knee board smacked me in the face but Dad glued it back together. You gotta love a man who comes prepared.
We dined like kings, had campfires, watched movies, painted, slept, played, sang, danced, chilled, drank, all did our accent impressions and all had a fabulous time.
The day after we got home my Mum had some friends coming over for a school reunion. But we're not calling it a reunion, we're just calling it friends over for dinner, despite the fact some of them had not seen each other for over 20 years.
I was on my best behaviour, charming and funny. They all thought I was delightful and a credit to my mother. My performance was so good I even had her fooled for a moment.
The last week was spent at home. Swimming, night spas, a day in the city shopping for us. My Mum even took me into that comic shop in the city where there are always quite a few strange people hanging around AND she bought me something there.
Mum took me to the movies and taught me an important life lesson. NEVER go and see a movie of a book you've loved. I will never make that mistake again.
All in all I would say I had a pretty great holiday. I can't believe I did all of this in just two weeks. I don't think my Mum ever got a moment to herself and but I want her to know that I am so grateful for everything.

This is what Noah actually said......

In the holidays me and my brother played soccer out the back. But we don't call it soccer, we call it football, like the British. But we don't just say football, we say FOOOOTBAAAALLL with our arms up in the air. Apart from that, not much else.

Reflections.

2010-10-02T09:07:00.000-07:00

I am resisting the urge to write this post as a list. Lists are easy. It's how I live my life. Some of them on paper, most in my head. I have even been known to have lists of my lists. But that doesn't happen very often. Honest.

As I sit here alone in the very early hours of the morning I am
a: amazed I am still awake
b: amazed I am the only one still awake ( the rest of you are soft )

Damn it! I just can't do it without a list.........

Houseboat holidays are the best fun. But we sadly had our first one in luxury and will in future expect all houseboats to meet the same standard. A jacuzzi on the top deck is essential.
I have had too much wine in the past week and will need to go on a self imposed detox. But I might wait 'till after the school holidays to start.
Going away with someone you grew up with is easy. You do things the same way. Which is of course, the right way to do them.
As a family, we tend to over cater. Feeding a crowd is not a challenge.
Thinking that you will come home from a holiday feeling refreshed is a myth. You come home even more exhausted then when you left. But at least you've had a holiday.
I married a good man.
You sometimes need to look through someone else's eyes to realise what great kids you have.
No matter how tired you are feeling you can always pull it together.
Old friends are the best friends. There was a reason you were friends in the first place.
Staying up late and then having to move the clocks forward an hour is probably a bad idea. And my dishwasher is REALLY loud. Hopefully my house guests have had enough wine that they wont hear a thing!

My Birthday....

2010-09-08T06:17:00.000-07:00

I'm having a huge dilemma working out what to do for my birthday. I have to do something. I want to do something. I just don't know what. I'm not fussed about a present, I would rather the money be spent on doing something. I just don't know what that something is.

Book Martindale Hall for a Murder Mystery Weekend. Sounds like lots of fun but am struggling to think of who would and wouldn't make the list.
Winery Tour. Again could be lots of fun. This has serious potential but again the list is causing me angst.
Hamish has suggested a party. Just like Robert had. At The Westlands. He loved that party as did we all. Except for BoBo the Clown. But I explained that I'd have to organise it and that would be no fun.
High Tea. I LOVE High Tea. I might do this with girlfriends but not as the main event. As corny as it sounds I really want to celebrate with Jim and I just can't see him at a High Tea.
Jim & I jetting off to Singapore. We can't wait to go back and experience it on our own. But within five minutes of discussing this we decided we will be going to Hong Kong for our 20th Wedding Anniversary. Can't complain but it doesn't really solve my problem.
A retreat in Daylesford. While I like the idea of a retreat that offers facials and seaweed wraps I don't fancy abstaining from alcohol and having to eat organic, gluten free, vegan food.
Hamish also suggested Paint Ball. I suspect he didn't have my best interests at heart.
Re carpeting my entire house. Sadly this would give me as much pleasure as most things on this list but would however cause me to become obsessed about dirty shoes and not eating in lounge.
A deep sea fishing charter. Oh, that's right, that one has already been taken. That's what my sister did on her 40th. The fact that it was on Hamilton Island, without children kinda made up for it.
Nothing. Which is not an option. I have a very long memory and plan on living to a ripe old age. I don't want to be sitting there at 80 complaining that I did nothing when I was 40. Which I would do, if I do nothing.

Suggestions welcome.

My glass is half empty.....

2010-08-05T22:58:00.000-07:00

I've often been accused of being negative. Of being a pessimist. Of being a worrier. My glass is half empty. I don't believe in luck. Hope is not a plan. I never look forward to anything. I am a realist. But please, don't feel sorry for me.
People who live in lala land drive me crazy. People who sit back and expect it all to happen and then get down when it doesn't drive me mad. Some people need to take off their rose coloured glasses and see how things really look.
If my glass is half empty it means I expect more, if yours is half full does that mean you're happy to settle with what you've got.
Don't you just love it when people sit back and hope something is going to happen. I hope I win xlotto but unless I start planning to buy a ticket each week, it 'aint gonna happen.
When I worry it means I care. It means I have every scenario and possible outcome covered. I'm never left thinking 'shit, I never thought about that, what do I do now?'.
It also means I've thought about every other person involved and how my decisions will affect them. Some people are so laid back they never think of anyone but themselves.
When you don't look forward to anything, you are never disappointed. I learnt this the hard way. Trust me, The 12 Apostles really are just bits of rock sticking out of the water and Jamie's 15 Restaurant, well, that story is best left until Elle and I can tell it together, after a few glasses of wine. In fact our disappointment, after booking 6 months in advance is so hilarious that it's our new party piece. And I'm sure the meal gets more disastrous each time we tell it.
And I don't believe in luck. We recently met an old man who has done very well for himself. He was telling us the story of his life. How he arrived in Australia as an 18 year old with nothing and if he'd had a dollar in his pocket he would have jumped right back on the boat and gone home. He said people are always telling him he's lucky. He tells them the harder you work, the luckier you get. As I stood in his mansion, sipping champagne from the most exquisite champagne flute I've ever seen, I knew he'd worked hard. And luck had nothing to do with it.

Swinging

2010-07-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

Ok, don't get excited, not that kind of swinging. The voting kind.
I can't make my mind up. And I'm really trying to be grown up, responsible and informed. And that just makes it harder.
Random thoughts to ponder, in no particular order.

Julia really disappointed me with the whole roots problem. No, I'm not just having a go because she's a woman. If Tony felt the need to dye his hair and neglected the maintenance, I'd have a go at him too.
I love the fact that Julia is an atheist. I would rather that than a religious zealot. Which is what I think Tony is. I've always felt he should defect to Family First. Politics and religion don't mix. Ever.
I hate the Liberal ad where they say "Stop the Boats". Is that their policy? I don't know what the answer is but I want a little more compassion.
It peeved me when the only time I've seen Tony parade his wife was when he visited a ...Child Care Centre! This was wrong on so many levels. Made only worse when on the news he made that comment to the small child about him being a scary man.
I like our local Liberal candidate but voting for him means voting for Tony. I've likened this to me wanting to live in Melbourne but not wanting to because it's in Victoria.
Labor have screwed women over with Birth Choices. Ok, perhaps not the best wording but they did.
I could live in hope that although the Liberal Party condemned Julia for ousting Kevin the way she did, that they do the same with Tony and replace him with...ummm.....someone better.
I agree with Julia that every child should receive an excellent education but I don't want her to reduce the funding to Independent Schools. If the 30% of students attending non government schools joined the public system tomorrow it would cost the government approx $7 billion a year. See, I have researched.
I don't understand the mining tax. I've tried but I just don't. This issue is not a factor in me making a decision on who to vote for.
I have four weeks to make up my mind. And what ever happened to Bronwyn Bishop? Did she retire? Wouldn't vote for her, just wondering.

An example

2010-07-07T18:14:00.000-07:00

this is an example of why Noah never gets an A in R.A.V.E.
(ok, so some poetic licence here but you get the gist. And he really did write wrestling)

Conflict Resolution

Q. What would be a good strategy for solving a problem with someone. Give an example of how you have solved a problem.

A. Wrestling. When me and my brother are arguing over who sits in the front seat we end up wrestling, sometimes even on the ground, in the front garden, much to my mothers dismay. But she lets us get on with it. We don't have time in the mornings to talk things through. And my mum is sick of yelling. Making up rosters, having designated days of week and keeping track of who last sat in the front is tedious and quite frankly, just not us. And if you think that making us sit next to each other in the back seat is a good idea, so that nobody has the front, then think again.
So we wrestle. And whoever manages to maneuver their bum onto the seat first wins. And then that's it. All is then well in the world and we get on with our day.
So I think wrestling is a good way to solve a problem.

Underneath the teacher wrote......
I can see that you have put a lot of effort into your drawing but do you really think that wrestling would be a good way to solve a problem.

Underneath that, Noah wrote....
Yes.

Chapter 4. Singapore Slings ....

2010-05-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

Well, the Singapore Sling didn't really live up to my expectations but I was drinking it in Singapore and it did contain alcohol, so it's not all bad.
Now, I'm a very fussy drinker. I don't and never will drink beer. I can't stomach bubbles, cheap or french. Apart from a brief period in the early 90's I don't drink spirits. ( is Pimms a spirit? If it is, scratch that last statement ). The preservatives in red wine make me feel urghh and is only drank in desperation. But I like white wine. Good white wine. Gone are the days where I said as long as it was white, I'd drink it.
But you try getting a bottle or even a glass of good wine in Singapore. If by some miracle they have it on the menu, it'll cost you a fortune and be crap. And you will get excited about walking into a supermarket and seeing the alcohol aisle, until you see the price of a bottle. Even I couldn't bring myself to part with up to four times as much as I would here for a bottle and that's saying something.
Now beer drinkers rejoice. You can buy beer everywhere. I went into a 7 eleven to get some milk, they didn't have any, but they had beer.
Anytime we went to a kopitiam ( sounds much more exotic than food court ) Jim could get a can of beer while I sat with my Coke Light.
So, on Jim's birthday, I tried a Singapore Sling. It looked like a Cosmopolitan which is my cocktail of choice ( ok, I know that has spirits in it too ) so I think that's what my brain was telling my taste buds to expect. But it wasn't. And it took until about the third glass to work out that actually, it wasn't that bad, just different. But don't after the third glass make the same mistake I did. It's not a sweet, sticky glace cherry on the end of the toothpick. And you know it's not. But you just can't help but take a bite. It's a maraschino cherry.Which supposedly is a delicacy, and should taste like almonds. But it's foul. Think of the worst cough medicine you ever had to take as a child and you'll be getting close.
Trust me, you'll be ordering another round just to get the taste out of your mouth.

The Queen, the King and the pawns...

2010-05-11T03:47:00.000-07:00

The boys wont stop annoying each other. Hamish niggles, Noah bites and then it's every man for himself.

We were talking to Hamish about this tonight, about pecking orders. He didn't know what we meant. We explained it and then he asked "so who in this family is at the top?". Without even stopping to think, I said "Dad". Yes,the shock of me saying it took my breath away too.

"Who have you been trying to beat since you were about four years old" asked Jim.

"You" said Hamish.

"But to get get to the top, what do you have to do first?"

"Beat Mum. But I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not allowed too, you wont let me"

"Because she is protected and always will be" said my King.

I may not be at the top but I'm the most powerful piece in the game.

I am the Queen, Jim is the King. We asked Hamish what he thought he was. "I'll be the Knight" he said. We looked at each other and laughed.

Sorry kiddo, you're still just a pawn.

Chapter 3.The Mystery of the Burka....

2010-05-11T03:25:00.000-07:00

I just don't get burkas.

There, I've just come out and said it. I was going to start this post by apologising in case I offend anyone, talking about respecting other religions and customs but the truth of the matter is I just don't get them and no matter how much reading or research I do ( I stand by Wikipedia being a reliable research tool ) I never will.

I know there has been a lot about them in the media at the moment, but I had a problem with them before that. I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. And I don't have a problem because I think they pose a terrorism threat. I have a problem with them because they are wrong.

Now, I love my husband, in fact, I adore him, but I'm not going to cover myself from head to toe and be oppressed for him. Yes, I save walking around naked for the privacy of my own home ( please now picture Jim reading this thinking when the hell do I walk around naked and why the hell isn't he here when I do it ) but I just can't see anything wrong with me carrying out my day to day life dressed in a comfortable and practical manner, in clothes that are my choice.

We were at a water park in Malaysia. Some women in bathers, some women in body suits and head scarves, some fully dressed. But we were all having fun. Swimming, going down water slides, going on rides. And then there were the women in burkas. Sitting on the side, watching their husbands have fun. Melting in the heat, wearing black from head to toe. At one stage I saw a couple approach a shelter that had one deck chair under it. Now, we are talking about a 35 degree day with about 90% humidity. He was in bathers, just finished his swim, she was in a burka. He lay on the deck chair, she stood beside him.

We were in a food court. There was a table of men eating McDonalds. At the next table were the women and children. The women in burkas. The men at their table were laughing and talking. The women at theirs were trying to eat a soft serve cone, under a veil, without exposing their face.

We saw a couple stop at one of those street artists to have their portrait drawn. All we could think was we hoped the artist got the eyes right.

The saddest thing I saw was they way these women were treated by their husbands and the other men in their group. The way they were spoken to made my skin crawl.

Hamish asked me if I thought these women ever had a moment of regret. I said I was sure they had but that it's easy to pass anything off in the name of religion.

An interruption to the Chapters and other presents...

2010-05-07T04:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I stopped at Chapter 2. Blame it on my self diagnosed ADD. And Mothers Day.
My shopping buddy & I have bought & gift wrapped 300, $10 presents for a Mothers Day Stall at school today. And trust me, it's not as easy as it sounds. And it's time consuming. And exhausting.
When people have seen the gifts and the gift wrapping they tell us we should start a business. We then look at each other and in unison, say NO.
But then the children come shopping and we forget about all the hard work. And despite the fact that Noah will be very excited on Sunday morning when he gives me the present, that I not only bought but wrapped, I know it was worth all the effort. But I'm not doing it again. And I mean it this time.
I still have chapters in my head. The Mystery of the Burka, Singapore Slings and Other Things and My Husband, My Hero are still in there. And they will get out. They just have to wait 'till I'm ready.
But I did get an early Mothers Day present of my own today. I came home after the stall to find a brand new, big, comfortable office chair sitting at my computer. He bought it for me so I could sit and write in comfort. How sweet is that.

Chapter 2. Public Toilets

2010-04-28T04:41:00.000-07:00

Now, I don't cope well with public toilets at the best of times, in fact, I'm not good with public things in general but the public toilets really tested me. And to be honest, they won.
I try to respect other peoples religions/cultures/way of life but sometimes it's really hard. Especially when they're wrong ( this will possibly be a theme in future posts ).
I know some cultures like to squat but I don't. I want to sit, take the weight off my feet, take in the surroundings, think.
Singapore wasn't too bad. I've been to far worse public toilets here ( The Big Koala toilets come to mind, avoid them at ALL cost ) but Malaysia.....well, let's just hope you've already had and enjoyed your dinner by now.

there is a ceramic hole in the ground. Feet placed either side, squat and wee. Sound easy? Now remember that the ground around the hole will be soaking wet so you have nowhere to put your bag ( HOOKS people, HOOKS ). Also remember that the ceramic surround is filthy and you are wearing pants. So you have to somehow maneuver to pull you pants down low enough to push your bum back without your pants being too low that they touch the ground and still hanging on to your bag.
toilet paper is not supplied nor encouraged. Yes, I'm being real. Muslims are big on hygiene which is why there is a hose in every toilet. Now, Hamish and I have become fascinated by Muslims and their way of doing things but we just don't get the hose. Are you suppose to hose yourself off instead of wiping? What are you suppose to do after you've hosed yourself off?
Look out for the old person on a street corner who is selling packets of tissue paper for 50 sen. They will become your best friend.
If you are really lucky, you might find a flush toilet. But be prepared to pay. Some major shopping centres will have one flush along with 5 squats but the floor will still be flooded. On one particularly tough day I found a flush toilet, it was still filthy, but at least I could sit. There was a sign on the back of the door reminding you to be considerate of the next user, reminding you to flush after use. The handle was broken so I couldn't. I went back to the same toilets at the end of a long day, paid my 30 sen and the toilet still didn't flush and obviously hadn't all day. But at least I could sit.
McDonalds was the biggest disappointment in Malaysian toilets. You can always rely on their toilets, right? Their toilets were unisex. Sorry, I just can't go to a toilet that I have watched 5 sweaty, filthy men go. Call me sexist, I don't care.
On the up side, the state of the toilets did remind me to do pelvic floor exercises as I had to learn to really hold on. If you have just read this, do 10 before you read any further. If you ever go to Malaysia, you can thank me later.
One of the best presents Jim has ever given me is a bottle of Dettol Hand Sanitsier. He bought it for me on that particularly bad day. I swear I nearly cried.

Chapter 1. The flight.

2010-04-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

If we had arrived at Changi Airport and told our boys that was their trip, they would have been happy. We flew with Emerites which were just fantastic. Yes, we had to drive to Melbourne, but it was our first long trip in our new Cruiser so worth it ( if you're interested, I love driving it on the highway but it sucks for city driving. I won't be fighting Jim for it each day) The only negative I have for Emerites is that to get to economy class, you have to walk through first class. Those individual seats that fold down to a full size bed look devine. The boys asked why we didn't have those seats. We looked at each other and silently answered because we are traveling with you two.

We all had individual screens, any movie or TV show you could think of ( I was disappointed in The Blind Side, it's more like a made for TV movie but enjoyed Julie & Julia and am looking forward to finally seeing Sherlock Holmes on the way back) and the boys were blown away by just being able to ask for anything and it being handed to them...yes, even on a silver platter. I'm sure at some stage Jim may have muttered something about everything in life being handed to them that way but I chose to ignore it.

The food was great, even the children's meal suited Noah which is no easy feat.

Although we don't want this holiday to end, I'm really kinda looking forward to the flight home.

The Travel Diaries........Introduction

2010-04-24T04:42:00.000-07:00

A post in many chapters. I was going to wait 'till I got home to write it all but I just can't. This trip has been amazing on so many levels. And trust me, it was well worth giving up my new bathroom for. In fact, the bathroom may just wait a little longer. We met a man on our trip who said that taking your children overseas and showing them the world was one of the best gifts you could give them. He was right. What they have learnt and seen they would never have got from new tiles and a gleaming white bathroom suite.

Instructions

2010-04-10T03:31:00.000-07:00

Instructions from me to them....

DO NOT, under any circumstances, use the words bomb, terrorist, hijack, kidnap or crash in the next two weeks. And I mean UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.
I will carry all official documents. End of story.
Let me check and then recheck all carry on luggage. No matter how much you laugh, if we need it, we can buy panadol there. I'm not traveling with it. I do not want panadol being mistaken for real drugs.
What is the obsession of you thinking you will want to brush your teeth mid flight? I usually have to remind some of you to do it now but you think that if you get on an aeroplane, you'll suddenly want to do it every 5 minutes.
You will go to the toilet and wee just before we board, whether you think you need to or not. I know you know your own bladders, but trust me, I know them better.
I have thought long and hard about the seating arrangements. Longer and harder than anyone else. It will be Hamish, Noah, Me & Jim. Jim needs to be on an aisle as he'll need the toilet more than anyone. Hamish and Noah will be good next to each other for all the on board flight entertainment. I want to be next to Noah and close to Hamish. If anything happens we need the strongest on the outside to protect me and Noah. If we crash and have to swim, Hamish can fend for himself, I can look out for Noah and Jim can look out for us all.
Wear dark clothing. What you start wearing on Monday morning will still be what you are wearing in the early hours of Tuesday morning when we land. There will be no outfit changes.
I will not be carrying everybody's crap in my handbag. If you don't want to take a bag, then don't take crap. Simple.
I will not be buying you a magazine, comic, or book on the Saturday before you fly, despite the fact you said you would save it for the flight. You are both your mothers sons and have no patience. We will buy something fun just before we board ( and have it read even before they've finished the onboard safety briefing).
Happy travels and enjoy your flight xx

Free to a good home

2010-04-07T05:02:00.000-07:00

Free to a good home, either a 16 year old or a nine year old. Both have endearing qualities but are finding it hard to live together.

Nine year old is suprisingly quiet on his own and can entertain himself for hours. Likes to draw and if you can put up with blue tac residue on your windows, likes to trace his own drawings to make books. Loves DVD's, DS and playing handball. Will eat whole foods only, no sauces, gravy's or casseroles and has recently discovered steak, medium rare please.
Does not have a bedtime but that doesn't matter, you often forget he's there and regardless of what time he goes to bed will wake at 6 as bright as a button. Extremely messy but highly organised. Does not know how to handle the torment of an older sibling and unfortunately often resorts to physical violence. Would probably suit a home with no other children.

16 year old knows how to press buttons and will do so often. Can be charming, sweet, caring, obnoxious and selfish all in the space of about 5 minutes. Will eat anything and everything and do not be offended if after watching him devour a meal he asks if there is any real food in the house. Now has the physical attributes of an adult which comes in handy if you need to move anything heavy. When being nagged about doing homework will remind you that he has never in his life handed anything in late or asked for an extension but you will still wish he hadn't left it 'till the last minute. He knows how to use a washing machine, a microwave, a dishwasher, and a vacuum cleaner but will try and tell you that he doesn't. Relates extremely well to younger children, unless he is related to them. Then he will just torment them until they cry.

All reasonable offers considered.

I'm sick and have too much to do.

2010-04-04T04:47:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and looking for sympathy. It's hard to find around here. I've spent most of the day hopping between my bed and the sofa and slept more in the past 24 hours than I think I ever have. I've struggled to eat any chocolate, but in the spirit of Easter, tried my hardest.
With only one week 'till lift off I've tried to keep my germs to myself. Jim, we suspect, is immune as it's pretty clear he gave it to me ( how kind, diamonds would have done ) and Noah doesn't seem to get sick so hopefully he's in the clear. Hamish is away, which is a good thing. The last thing he needs is to get sick, that boy can spike a fever spectacularly.

Our trip really has kinda crept up on us. Suddenly it's here and there seems so much to do. So much to do and a body that just wants to sleep. I've tried reading my guide book again but it's just making my brain hurt.
I've finally booked us somewhere to stay in Singapore. Left it a little late but that was intentional. I've learnt over time, the closer you book to actually needing a bed, the cheaper you get it. Trust me. I have lots of experience. We have a four star, two bedroom apartment, walking distance from Orchard Road. And I got it for peanuts. Well, perhaps not peanuts but still at a great price. We now have to book and pay for three adults and one child and a single hotel room that we can all fit in comfortably is getting hard to find. We'd contemplated getting two rooms but, call me paranoid, I wanted us all to be together. All I could think of was terrorists storming the hotel and Noah opening his room door. Now, I realise the risk of this happening is virtually nil, but still, it's important to think of these things.
I have declared myself the keeper of passports and documents, which of course meant I had to buy yet another handbag. None of the 23 I already owned were quite right. I still have to take copies of everything and think of somewhere safe to keep them.
We still have to buy suitcases. Our old ones finally gave up, with a split seam and a wonky wheel. It's going to be a struggle sharing cases which is our intention. We are a family who all like our own. Noah just likes to chuck stuff in but you can guarantee he has everything he needs. Hamish likes to pack his in outfit lots, shorts, t-shirt, jocks & socks for one day all rolled together. Hamish is also the bringer of all cables, plugs & chargers. Jim packs his bag like he's playing a game of Tetris. Yes, he doesn't take up much space but you need to take everything out just to get to your toothbrush. I just like space. I will pack far too much and end up wearing the same few things over and over but you just never know. How am I suppose to know ahead of time which pair of black 3/4 pants I'll need.
We've thought of a few things we really want to do but surprisingly for us, are trying not to be too timetabled and planned.
The boys really want to go to Universal Studios so I guess that's a day taken. And we are allowing only one trip to McDonalds in Singapore and one in Malaysia and then that's it. Then perhaps they will believe us that it really is just the same crap the world over. Although Malaysia does sell Milo. Good old Nestle, getting in where they can. The rest of the time we are eating from hawker stalls or local restaurants. Thankfully Noah now eats rice and chicken so he'll be fine.
On top of my list is the Fish Spa. Where you put your feet in a pond and they nibble away at all the dead, hard skin. Sorry if you arrive after me and the fish are full!
I've gone off my Raffles visit. I haven't heard or read a good review so I'm not going to be sorry if I miss out this time around. I suspect this will be something we do on a visit sans children. I've read that they no longer make Singapore Slings from scratch but now just buy in pre- made casks. And charge you a fortune for the privilege. (Yep, talking myself out it )
We are all looking forward to all the markets. I can't barter ( oh, how much did you say, are you sure that's enough) but am looking forward to seeing Hamish in action. That boy can talk his way in or out of any situation. Noah's not a spender by nature, he thinks long and hard before making a purchase so it will be interesting to see what he comes home with. If Jim starts bartering I'll have to walk away. Watching children doing it is funny, watching an adult is just embarrassing (unless he gets me a really good price)
We haven't yet worked out how we are getting to Malaysia, or in fact where we are actually going. Melaka & KL are our two destinations of choice but we'll work out more when we get there. See, I told you we were trying to be relaxed about it. There is an abundance of accommodation and the prices are ridiculously low so even I'm not panicked about it (yet).
There are a couple of water parks in Malaysia that I'm sure we'll be visiting (it's not the heat it's the humidity that gets you). About 60% on the Malaysian population are Muslim so the last time we were there, I was one of the few women wearing bathers. Most were dressed head to toe in shirts, long pants and head scarves. Jim took Hamish to the toilet and left me standing by our locker holding onto the big inflatable raft we had hired for a ride. A group of young men approached me and all wanted to have their picture taken with me. I foolishly obliged. To this day I bet I'm still hanging inside a locker somewhere, with goodness knows what stories being told about me. Me, a young man and our inflatable raft. If anyone stops me for my autograph, I'll be sure to let you know.

Well, my drugs are wearing off so my planning will have to continue tomorrow and it would just be criminal not to eat at least one more Easter Egg before I crawl back into bed. I can hear the kettle boiling so it looks like I might be getting some sympathy after all.

Boys

2010-03-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

I love having boys, I really do. I always thought I'd have girls and always wanted girls, but to be honest, sometimes, I'm kinda glad I don't.

When I was pregnant with Noah, Hamish insisted it had to be a boy. But I wanted a girl. I hate surprises and Jim can read a scan so we found out early. As soon as I saw the picture on screen I knew he was a boy, his profile was IDENTICAL to Hamish's. When left the Radiologists office I sat on the first available chair and cried and laughed all at the same time.

Baby boys I suspect are the same as baby girls. They have the same needs 24/7, are as cute as a button and you just want to eat them up. You don't get enough sleep, are forever washing and think they are the most adorable child to ever grace this earth.

When they are toddlers and preschoolers, parents of girls laugh at you. Laugh away, we get our own back down the track.

Noah is now 9. The perfect age. Boys aged 7-11 ( in my limited experience of 2 ) are the easiest. They like to please, thrive on encouragement, like to be kept busy, are excited about new experiences, get over things really quickly, try their best all the time and like to be friends with everyone. Girls are still friends but are getting annoying.

The years between 12-15 are....interesting. They develop the skill of grunting, have a teenage boy smell about them no matter how much you make them shower, they discover brand name clothing, extracting information from them really is like pulling hens teeth (I'm sure Jim recorded this one too) . In our case sport ruled his world and nothing else mattered, which actually, isn't a bad way to be and the parties began. Honestly, if you hire a hall, caterers and a DJ for a 13th, where else do you have to go.

Hamish is now 16 which isn't as bad as it sounds. Yes, he has a sense of entitlement and thinks the world does in fact revolve around him but he's changing. And so are his friends. His friend are no longer grunting a reluctant hello but are now initiating a conversation with you when they see you. How delightful is it to have a 16-17 year old boy tell you about his weekend in Melbourne, or have one tell you about the race he just ran, after he first enquired how you were doing. Hamish is starting to talk about his future, I love that he can talk about girls that are his friends without being embarrassed, I love that he can make his own decisions about wether or not to go to a party based on his own judgement. I love watching him grow from a boy to a young man. I love the fact that no matter what, boys love their mum.

If only I could stop them from peeing in the shower, my life would be complete.

Birthday plans.....

2010-03-15T05:18:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to plan my next birthday. I don't want it to be February again and my birthday just passes by as a non event. I want to celebrate and spoil myself.
I don't want a big party 'cause parties are lots of work. And if you have a big party you end up with people there that you didn't really want and I don't see the point in that. As I'm getting older I'm getting more selective.
I also refuse to order my own cake again. I had to do this for my 30th. I went to the bakery, made my selection and then she asked,
"what would you like written on the cake"
"umm..Happy 30th Birthday Jo"
"ok, and can I have your name?"
"umm..Jo"
The look of pity in her eyes was priceless.

I have a few ideas floating around in my head and my sisters have requested a stretch hummer for one of them. They'll be glad to know that I looked into it and we can.

Mastering the language...

2010-03-12T00:29:00.000-08:00

'Thank you' in Malaysian is 'Terima Kasih'. It was the one word I thought I could master. To remember how to pronounce it, I thought of 'tear up my car seat'. This worked well until the day at the markets, after being handed my goods , I very proudly said 'rip up my car seats'.

After September 11, I spent a good few days being glued to the television. They kept talking about 'Osama bin laden'. I thought they were saying 'a son of Bin Laden'. I couldn't work out why they didn't just find out his name.

I got frustrated on a family drive when I kept hearing the words Norton Summit. I kept asking for the map. Now, my map reading skills, or lack of, are well known. I wasn't going to work out which direction to go, I wanted to work out what the word after Norton was.

More classics....

I always had such soft, subtle hands...1991

We use to eat honey like it was coming out of our ears....1994

Don't eat with your mouth full....1996

Don't eat like that, you look like a Bohemian....2000

Yes, they have been recorded for posterity.

Just remember peoples....you may laugh, but I can recite Mulga Bill's Bicycle by A.B. Paterson from start to finish!

Naming rights

2010-03-10T03:24:00.000-08:00

When I was little and we played make believe, I was always Wendy. Wendy was a hairdresser, she had blonde hair, smoked and was glamorous ( it was the 70's ). I wanted to be Wendy. I thought Wendy was the best name ever and if I couldn't change my name there and then I would at least pass it on to my daughter. I grew up in a house of four girls, I just always assumed I'd have one.

The only other name I used was either Betty or Marjorie. But they were old. They had husbands and grown up children and I think one of them worked in a canteen. My sister and I had pink toy telephones, connected by a really long wire. If we were lucky and they had working batteries, one of us would sit in the toilet and the other at the end of the laundry and we would talk. Just talk. Talk about our day, our children, our husbands, our neighbours, our jobs. We would talk for hours. To us Betty and Marjorie were real people. If the batteries had run out, one would be in the toilet, the other just sitting outside the door so you could hear. Don't think that sitting in the toilet was the worse place to be, at least you got a seat.

When the time came however, Wendy had been long forgotten. I REALLY wanted a James. I LOVE the name James. But I knew, no matter how hard I protested, I would have ended up with a wee Jim and I just couldn't bring myself to subject a child to that. So James went out the window. And looking back, we may have become a bit Duggar-ish, finding it hard to use any letter other than J for future children.

Lachlan was the next name of choice. Hamish was Lachlan 'till the night before he was born. How glad I am now that we never stuck with that one. There are Lachlan's everywhere. I think it's become the new Matthew. Remember the time when if people couldn't think of anything else to call their son, they called him Matthew.

Anyway, Hamish's English equivalent is James so it kinda worked for us. I loved the fact that we had first and last names starting with the same letter and when we said them together, they just worked for us. I call him Hame, always have but I'm his Mum so I'm allowed to.

No middle name necessary. Neither of us had one so we didn't see the point.

If he'd been a girl and born with dark hair he would have been Laura and if he'd had blonde hair Caroline ( Carrie ). Can you see the Little House on the Prairie theme I had going?

When searching for a name for Noah we tried all of the predictable Scottish names but next to a Hamish, they just sounded corny. So Lachlan, Angus & Fergus were soon given the flick. Henry or Harry stuck for a while but one day, while joking around with a baby name book, I was throwing out ridiculous suggestions and just blurted out Noah. Instead of laughing, we just looked at each other and knew that we had found the perfect name. We broke our rule of no middle names to honour my brother. I wouldn't have used Thomas as a first name, it's not my name to use. That name belongs to my nieces should they decide they want to use it one day. Some people have more of a right than others to a name.

He gets called Nozza at school. Whatever. They're 9, they'll grow out of it.

If he'd been a girl he would have been called Georgie or Laura or Carrie or Rosie.

*Just incase you were wondering, here's a little update on Wendy, Betty and Marjorie.

Wendy is still hairdressing and now owns her own salon in a little suburban shopping centre. She was married to Jason and they had two daughters, Destiny & Jayde but now finds herself single again. She's still blonde but it takes a little more effort these days. She likes to think of herself as her daughters best friend rather than as their mother and loves nothing better than a night out on the town with them, drinking Vodka Cruisers. She has tried to give up smoking but found that when she did, did nothing but eat so it just wasn't worth it.

Marjorie is enjoying her grandchildren and retirement with her husband. They sold the family home and bought something more manageable. Her husband gets under her feet, a fact she likes to share with everyone she meets, so he has recently taken up bowls to give her a break. She remains, as always, very house proud. She thinks of Betty at Christmas, when she's writing out her Christmas cards.

Sadly, Betty's husband passed away quite a few years ago but she's getting use to being on her own. She very proudly tells people that her son is now an accountant in the city but he doesn't pop around to see her as often as he should. She's starting to struggle with the house but doesn't want to admit it. She's involved in her church and still makes a mean vanilla slice, you know, the one made with Arnotts Lattice biscuits, custard, icing & coconut. She remembers Marjorie fondly, sometimes thinks about picking up the phone but never does.

Plans

2010-03-09T16:20:00.000-08:00

Today is Jim's last Clinical shift for two months. Two whole months. He has some loose ends to tie up tomorrow, a meeting on Friday morning and then that's it. If you're gonna take a break, you may as well do it right.

We have lots of plans of things we'd like to achieve, but hey, we're realists. They won't all get done but a girl can dream....

PLANS

Jim is going to explore the Victorian high country. Doesn't this just make you imagine him jumping on his horse, kissing me farewell at the gate as I dab my tears with a handkerchief and him riding off into the sunset to discover new lands and tame wild brumbies, or is that just me? Going in a fleet of 4WD's just doesn't have the same ring to it
Going overseas. If all goes to plan we'll be flying out on the 12th of April and Jim will be celebrating his birthday eating breakfast with the orangutans at Singapore Zoo. If we'd stayed at home he's just be getting your common household monkeys.
Building the veggie garden. Is it just me or is Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall getting better with age?
Recharge our batteries. At the end of the two months I bet we'll still be tired. It's called life.
Get fit for the soccer season. Ok, this is just Jim's plan. My plan will be making sure I have sufficient winter clothing and shoes to go and watch the soccer. I'm such a supportive wife.
Rip out and rebuild our laundry. This is a new plan and one possibly thought of on a whim, but you never know.
Clean out the garage so we can fit a car in. If anyone wants a 6 seater dining table, a kitchen buffet & hutch, a set of bunk beds, a child's bed, an old stereo & turntable ( sorry keeping all the vinyl ) or of a charity that will take old bikes, reconditions them and then give them away, let me know. We don't want any money for them, just want rid of it all. Will list them on freecycle if we still have them after Easter.
Rip up some paving, relocate it and put down some new grass. When you say it out loud, it sounds very labour intensive. Might have to re think this one.
Paint the lattice by our front door. When we bought this house 10 years ago we said we must paint that lattice. We've repainted the posts and the gutters and yet somehow, the lattice just never got done.
Drink lots of cups of tea and watch lots of daytime movies. We all know this will definitely happen so may as well make it an official plan so at least at the end of two months, we will have achieved something.

A day at the movies

2010-02-28T15:36:00.000-08:00

What a great weekend we've had. We finally have the technology to transfer all of our old VHS tapes and home movies to disc. And even though we don't need to, have found ourselves glued to the television, watching while it happens.

Now, I'm not actually a fan of video cameras. I think they have the potential to change peoples natural behaviour and responses. So what you end up recording can sometimes feels staged or strained and people being on guard or even worse, people trying to get themselves noticed. I think it should be law that video camera footage is not viewed immediately or the day after the night before but should be locked away in a time capsule for a period of at least 10 years when they can be truly enjoyed.

We bought ours in 1996. Hamish was 2 and in hospital for his first graft. Jim had actually gone out to buy shoes and came home with the camera instead. Memorable 'cause he isn't a spontaneous spender by nature but I guess he knew there would be memories we'd want to keep for ever.

We've only worked through a small portion of what we have. And not only do we have our own movies to work through but it must have been the done thing to send copies of your home movies to family & friends for them to watch, now you'd just post anything funny on facebook.

It's been fascinating to be able to sit back and watch. You get to notice things you would never have seen in real time (not always a good thing!) You get to laugh at others and laugh at yourself, it helps you remember things you didn't know you'd forgotten and makes you realise how much you've changed and yet how much you've stayed the same.

My favourite memories and observations so far.......

I have the two cutest, most adorable children ever.
Watching Hamish at 2 and Noah at 2 and Hamish at 9 and Noah at 9 makes you understand that they are in fact, the same person just with different colour hair.
I am the Queen of the dirty look.
I love having the footage of my Dad playing with my boys and even better, Hamish at 2 talking to his Gaga on the phone.
Christmas 1996 was a great Christmas.
Jim & I never use to rush anything. We did things slowly and just took our time.
When you can't see me on camera but can hear me, I sound exactly like sister number 2, especially my laugh.
I had completely forgotten how sore Hamish's leg was after his big graft. He had forgotten too. That footage was sad but he said how happy he was that we had it all on tape for him.
My house was always immaculate. Even Hamish made this observation. He was stretched out on the sofa, surrounded by crap when he looked over at me and asked "what happened Mum?"
We never use to have very much stuff.
My hair in late '96 early '97 was exactly the same as it is now.
If my sister ever uses the words "thinking about" and "perm" in the same sentence, I will slap her. She'll thank me for it later.
Don't ever walk up to someone and shove a video camera in their face.
I can't remember not being a coke nazi and yet we have footage of me drinking the hard stuff and worse still giving my 2 year old some.
We have what is know as "The Taco Dinner of '96". Jim thought it would be great to just set the camera up while we ate dinner. It is hysterical! At the end of our dinner you can hear Jim & I talking. I swear we had that exact same conversation last week.
Footage of me, I thought was my niece. Sorry kiddo, it's all downhill from here.

I can't wait to watch the rest of them...stay tuned.

The things we say....

2010-02-25T18:03:00.000-08:00

The things we all say on a regular basis. Sometimes daily. Sometimes several times a day.

NOAH

"where's my handball?"
"will somebody play handball with me?"
"no one ever plays handball with me"
"why do I always have to be the youngest?" (trust me buddy, being the youngest is far better than being a middle child, they have real issues)
"I have been waiting for a dog since I was 5 years old, are you ever going to get one?"
"there is something wrong with my tastebuds" (this is said when he's served up something that's unfamiliar.
"Hamish...Hamish...HAMISH" (usually followed by random screams and possibly tears)

HAMISH

"shottie the front"
"can I get something to eat?"
"there's nothing in"
"when's dinner"
"can we have steak?"
"are there seconds"
"are you gonna eat that?"
"becuase I'm Generation Y, that's how I know"
"I need ....(insert pretty much anything really)
"Noah...Noah...NOAH" (usually followed by random screams and possibly tears from Noah)

JIM

"are you watching this?"
"some people are just deluded"
"is that new?"
"I haven't seen that shirt/shoes/handbag before" ( oh, I've had it for ages, just never worn it)
"I just feel like going fishing"
"do you want a cup of tea?" (bless him)
"put it in the tin"
"it'll be for you"

ME

"shut the door"
"SHUT THE DOOR" (I swear this is going to be inscribed on my headstone)
"any goss?" (I ask every day in hope, they never have any)
"do you have any homework?"
"have you done your homework?"
"let me see your homework"
"don't get anything to eat, dinner wont be long" (even if I haven't started it yet I say this)
"after dinner, we're having a 10 minute blitz"
"how does this look?" (if you want the truth, ask a nine year old boy, they never lie)
"we'll get a dog soon"

What's in a name?

2010-02-22T17:52:00.000-08:00

I never gave any thought to not changing my name when I got married. It was just what you did. It was expected. So I did. But I wish I hadn't.

I feel like each name belongs to someone different and I really like my birth named person better. She's the one who's more confident, she's funnier, she's quick witted, she's smarter and wiser, she's more relaxed about things. She really cares about peoples feelings and is sensitive. When I'm at home alone or with my sisters or chatting with old friends in real life or on facebook, that's who I am. She's so much easier to live with and be around, much less work. It was who Jim married so she can't be too bad xx

Now, don't get me wrong, the other me is still a pretty great person but she's hard work. I feel like I'm always having to try and quite frankly, she is exhausting. She holds her tongue, she's pretty quiet, she worries far too much about what other people think. She doubts herself, she's never quite fit in with the name.

I don't think I've really decided what I want to do but I've thought about it lots. I don't know if it would change me but it's starting to feel right. Jim knows where I'm coming from and he gets it. And while what he thinks wouldn't change my decision, it does make it easier. This is about me and no one else.

My birth name is running out, there aren't many left on our branch and I want to hold on tight to it before it's too late.
I'd also like to get the real me out there.

My housework rules

2010-02-19T04:41:00.000-08:00

My house isn't perfect. I wish it was. One day, in a far, far away place, it will be. But for now, we make do because sometimes, somethings are just more important. But I try to live by these rules for no other reason than to make my life easier.

1. Dinner dishes are done after dinner. I can not recall a night when we have gone to bed without doing the dishes. An unwritten rule in our house, whoever cooks, doesn't do the dishes. Sometimes it's nice to break the rule though, how good does it feel to discover they have been done for you. I can't imagine anything worse than getting up and having to face hardened mashed potato in a pan.

2. Beds do not always get made but they always get at least 'turned over'. Saw this on Oprah about a hundred years ago and it stuck with me. Pull the quilt and top sheet ( yes, we are top sheet people ) back neatly to let the bed breathe.

3. Fold and hang up rather than have an ironing basket. Yes, in a perfect world the ironing would get done the same day as the washing but I REALLY HATE ironing. I also think an 'ironing lady' is a waste of money. This works for us...I tend to wash once a week. We then end up with about two baskets full of clean clothes which are then folded, often by DS1 cause he owes us lots. Clothes that would be traditionally ironed are hung on a coat hanger and if needed, ironed when you next want to wear it ( but you can usually get away with it ). My mum irons sheets, towels & underwear. My way of doing things does her head in.

4. Not many material things are precious to me. When you live like this, it's easy to chuck things out. It's ok if you want to hang on to it for a little while longer, but eventually, it's time to let it go. Have a box each of special stuff.

5. Create school folders. Both boys have one that I keep on top of the fridge. ANY note that comes home from school goes in it. And if you have to return a slip, I try to do it immediately. I only clean them out in the school holidays.

6. We always try and be ready for the next day before getting into bed. Uniforms ready, bags packed, lunches organised. If we get into bed and haven't done all of this, I swear I don't sleep as well. If I were to ring my sister at lunchtime on a Sunday, I bet she would have her lunches for Monday done. It's a family thing.

7. Viva paper towel ( strongest when wet! ) is the greatest invention ever. I use it for everything. Dusting, window washing, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning stainless steel. Don't tell me to be more environmentally friendly and use enjo, I have a cupboard full of the cleaning cloths and while they've had their brief moments in the spotlight, they don't even begin to compare to Viva.

8. Wash your floors at night. Then for at least 8 hours you can enjoy them being clean.

9. Always have the spare bed made up with fresh sheets. You just never know...

10. The " 5 minute, 10 minute or 30 minute blitz" is my saviour. This is how it works. You can't spring a blitz, you need to give everyone fair warning, "at 3 o'clock we will be having a blitz". Before the allotted time, make sure you know what you want done. Assemble the family and give instructions. Everyone needs to go around and pick anything up that's theirs and PUT IT WHERE IT BELONGS. Speed is your friend here, everyone has to move like their life depends on it.

Direct SPECIFICALLY to jobs that need done, like washing off all the dried spit out toothpaste from their bathroom sink and scrubbing under the toilet seat not just clean the bathroom.

It's amazing what a family can accomplish in 10 minutes.

* Ok, this has nothing what-so-ever to do with housework but it is my other Oprah moment that I wanted to share. If someone tries to abduct you, DO NOT LET THEM TAKE YOU TO A SECOND LOCATION. If they do, they will most likely kill you. I would rather be killed trying to fight than be taken somewhere isolated, assaulted and then killed. I saw this episode about 20 years ago and have never forgotten it. That and the bed sheets are stuck in my head.

Sweet home, sweet home.

2010-01-25T01:54:00.000-08:00

Why is it, that even after a fantastic holiday, it feels so good to walk through your own front door?
Coming home can even make you think that the little house you complain about constantly, is in fact, quite lovely.
We've had a water bill, gas bill, phone bill all waiting for us in the mail and even that hasn't taken the shine off coming home.
When the taxi pulled up out the front to drop us off I noticed that the cars were filthy and the lawn was dead. Then laughed. They were like that when we left.

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

I know it's the 9th of January. I've just taken my time thinking about these. I didn't want to rush myself.

1. Say No. Things will not collapse in a heap if I'm not in charge. Nor will they collapse if I'm not involved.

2. Give back to my friends. Sadly, it sometimes takes a tragedy to really appreciate your friends. Mine have been so kind, patient, giving & loving towards me this year that it's my turn to give some of that back.

3. New carpet & and a new bathroom are no longer a priority. I thought they were but they're not. Instead, we are taking our boys on a big family overseas holiday.

4. Get over my phobias of going to the hairdresser, dentist & doctor. For those that think the latter is funny, it's not.

5. Have more people over for dinner. Not the kind of dinner where you spend the day cleaning your house, planning a menu, using the best china but the kind of dinner you make most nights and invite people to join in the chaos.

6. Use the best china every night.

7. Learn the words to at least one ACDC song. I have tickets for great seats and I mean REALLY great seats. The only problem is, I really don't like ACDC. I do however realise it will be an experience not to be missed and want to enjoy the whole experience.
*note to self, look for tickets hidden in a safe place.

8. Remember that Noah is only little and just because we are sick of doing things doesn't mean that he is.

9. Clean all the skirting boards in my house with a damp cloth.

10. Learn how to use the whipper snipper. I know you were expecting something really profound as my last resolution so sorry to disappoint but over the years I've been taught/worked out how to do most things and this is about last on my list.

Pictionary

2009-12-26T22:47:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's taken us so long to own Pictionary. We've played it lots, just never owned it ourselves. My sister and I are the self proclaimed World Champions. We are unbeatable. We are so good that our husbands now refuse to play if we are on the same team. We have both been gifted with a talent for being able to draw absolutely nothing but somehow just know that a scribble on the page is "mud".
Now, in my own little family, when it comes to drawing, Hamish inherited my genes
and Noah his Dad's and quite possibly the genes of a long lost relative who made a fortune from his artistic abilities.
When it came time for us to split into teams, we all wanted Noah. Jim won.
Noah cracked us all up with each drawing he did. The kid has untapped talent that we need to work out how to nurture.
He drew a perfect picture frame, with the Mona Lisa inside . As he started the second frame Jim guessed "art gallery" which was of course correct. As we were congratulating Noah on his drawing and praising him for his choice of artwork to copy ( and all secretly impressed that a 9 year old knew the painting so well ) he then let us know that his next two drawings were going to be Blue Boy and The Scream. Oh how I wished Jim hadn't guessed so early.
It was then Hamish's turn to draw. He drew a stick figure holding onto a stick. I guessed pole dancer, then stripper, then strip, which was right. I really do think there is some benefit to two non drawers being paired together.

My black dress

2009-12-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

What seems like many moons ago, I bought my black dress. The best dress in the world. I can say to my sister " my black dress " and she knows what I'm talking about 'cause she bought one too.
We bought them in Melbourne, sold to us by the best ever sales woman called Pen. It's the kind of dress you can wear for any occasion, with the right shoes.
On a hot summers day you wear flats. For a meal out with friends you wear heels. When you want to paint the town red, you can add bling.
We have a wrap for really special occasions. Well, to be honest, it's my sisters wrap that we use to post back and forth but I obviously have a more exciting social life because I haven't had to post it back to her for a while.
The dress can be washed it in the machine and it dries on a hanger and NEVER needs ironed.
And the best part of all? It always fits.

Who said it was better to give than to receive?

2009-12-15T04:43:00.000-08:00

We've all been told it. Probably by our parents. It is better to give than to receive. They were wrong. Receiving is pretty damn good!

I was surprised today with a Christmas present. An out of the blue Christmas present. The kind of present that arrives just when you need it. Sent with love. I think she knew that my Christmas spirit was missing and nowhere to be found, even though I hadn't told her. I was going to keep it in it's beautiful wrapping until Christmas morning but I couldn't. I tried, I really did but the temptation was too great.
And when I opened it I cried. She knew what I loved and had so tenderly packaged it together.
Perhaps I don't need to go looking for the Christmas Spirit, perhaps it's been around me all along.

Thank you xx

Face off

2009-12-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

Who knew I had so many faces? I was informed of them all on the way to school this morning. The conversation started after I apparently made 'face two'.

Face one is the worst. This use to be affectionately known as 'that face' until I worked hard and expanded my repertoire. When I have face one, they know something bad is going to happen. It means I'm really pissed off and am collecting my thoughts before I let loose. If they are feeling brave, they'll point out that I'm making/have made 'that face' to try and minimise it's effects.

Face two is the face I supposedly make when I really just want to say shut up, I'm not listening but don't say it. In my defence, while being accused of making this face this morning, I was not only being given a very animated demonstration of air drumming but also being told that becoming a professional air drummer is not as crazy as it sounds.

Face three is my stressed or worried face. Self explanatory I was told, they just know.

I don't know if there are anymore. The conversation moved on to all time favourite songs. He asked me to guess his. I got it wrong. You should have seen the look of disgust on his face.

Who says parents and their teenagers don't communicate?

An apple for the teacher

2009-12-04T14:01:00.000-08:00

Buying presents for teachers. It's something I do. I know they get paid to do a job but sometimes in life it's nice to have someone give you a little extra. At Easter I buy Haighs or Cookie Man ( teachers have a knack of letting children know if they like chocolate or not ) and for Christmas, well it depends, depends on what kind of year we've had. Noah's Year 1 teacher cried when we gave her a bottle of Moet. She was worth it.
I've been on the receiving end of presents and some were great and some were....
Based on my own experiences, I don't buy candles, gift packs of shower gel, body lotion & soap, ornaments or plaques, photo frame with a picture of my child in it, Christmas or Best Teacher mugs or cheap chocolate.
One year at work, a parent walked in with three exquisitely wrapped packages, in a gift bag from an exclusive gift shop in Hyde Park. She placed then in the staff room for us to open later. We spent the morning speculating what they might be. Each of us would duck in there every now and then for a feel, a shake and a smell, trying to guess what it could be. When the children had left we all rushed in to open them together.
We all got......a corn cob Christmas decoration! Well, it's the thought that counts, isn't it?

Bah Humbug!

2009-12-04T04:15:00.000-08:00

The Christmas Cards have started pouring in. Not in my letter box but in the school bag. The kind of cards that come in a box of 50 for $2. And no longer is it just a card in the envelope. The first few were and then someone stuck a candy cane on theirs. The next one came with a Christmas chocolate and we have now graduated to a Christmas Cracker. I'm waiting for the year when someone makes up individual Christmas hampers for everyone in the class.
A card from a best friend is done in the best handwriting and is always the best card from the box, with a big jolly Santa on the front but if you get the 20th card someone has written out you always get the dodgy picture of a candle and a very scrappy "To Noah from xxxxxxx". If you're the 23rd card, chances are their Mum had to take over.
I asked Noah over dinner if he would like to give out Christmas cards.
His reply, "heck no".
There are some moments as a mother that just make you smile.

Bugger, forgot again!

2009-12-01T18:52:00.000-08:00

Every year I forget about an advent calendar. I think about it in October but by the time December rolls around it's slipped from my mind. And I'm not talking about those crappy commercial ones you can buy in Woolies, with the chocolate so bad that nobody eats it.
I know some people who put in a huge amount of effort with theirs. I had a friend who made her children each one and in each pocket placed a few pieces of a jigsaw puzzle or of a Lego model and on Christmas Eve they would build/make it together.
Another friend makes an Advent Task Calendar. Each day has a special activity or outing for the family to enjoy.
Another I heard of used hers like a treasure hunt, with clues each day until the treasure is discovered on Christmas morning.
And me? Well I just keep forgetting.

Things I don't get

2009-11-28T04:45:00.000-08:00

I don't get vampires.
I don't get the panda hype.
I don't get farmville.
I don't get poker.
I don't get smacking.
I don't get science fiction.
I don't get eating goat.
I don't get abstract art.
I don't get jazz.
I don't get cooking with sultanas.
I don't get beer.
I don't get cheap champagne.
I don't get expensive champagne.

Everything else, I pretty much get.

Reading

2009-11-23T03:13:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't want to live if I couldn't read. I don't mean reading instructions or street signs, I mean really reading. The kind of reading where you get yourself completely lost in the story. There is no better feeling in the world than reading one of those books that you just can't put down or when you do, your thoughts are consumed with when you will get to pick it up again. I like to own my own books. I like to be the first to crack open the cover. I don't make notes in the margin or turn over the corners of the page to keep my place. I am reluctant to share my books, especially if it's one in a series, you don't always get them back!
I sometimes read in the bath or in the pool but the effort it takes to stop the book getting wet sometimes takes over from the pleasure of reading.
I have favourite authors and tend to stick with them. I get mad with them if they let me down. I have no time for fantasy, science fiction or historical novels. I have never read a book by an Australian author that I have truly loved.
If I love a book, I won't watch the movie. I've said it before, I'll say it again and I'll keep on saying it, Renee Zellweger IS NOT BRIDGET JONES!

Birthdays

2009-11-21T01:52:00.000-08:00

My baby is about to turn 9. In two days it will be his big day. That day of the year when you feel really special and it feels like all the attention is on you. He'll get up, bursting at the seems, will come into our room with the biggest smile on his face and announce that it's his birthday. Even though his presents will be out on the kitchen table waiting for him, he wont open them until we are all there to watch him do it. That's just an unspoken rule in our family, you don't open your presents until everyone's awake.
You get to choose what you want for breakfast when it's your birthday, he's chosen bacon & eggs ( even though it's a school morning ). And for his birthday dinner he wants Taco's. We don't do cake, we're just not a big cake family so it's kind of a waste but there will be be a donut or a bowl of ice cream with a candle in it.
We've already had the party. We've worked out a system that seems to work well for us, so his party was on Friday night. Over and done with before the weekend starts. 2 hours maximum and always at home. Anyone that is prepared to take 10, 9 year old boys out in public and be responsible for them, needs their head read. We like to keep them contained ( caged ) in the back garden so we know where they are and so they don't put us to shame. We do old fashioned party food, order pizza, ice cream cake. As always I over cater (it's a family thing) so we actually 'enjoy' it all weekend, although by Sunday night we are craving something that's not bite sized. I love making up party bags and always try to find something a little bit different to put in them. This year I found these really cool finger lights, a big hit. I don't put anything in party bag that the birthday boy doesn't like so our options in lollies and chocolate a pretty limited but nobody seems to notice or care.
He's wanted "Heeleys" for months & months so today he finally got a pair. A couple of days early but he needed to try them on. If I had just bought them, I would have picked a size 4 but he ended up with a size 6 , so just as well. We didn't see the point in making him wait 'till Monday to use them so he's outside now, rolling up and down the back porch mastering his technique. But he'll have some suprises still waiting for him on Monday morning, I think it would be cruel not to have something special to open on your birthday.

I'll take a moment on Monday to remember that day 9 years ago. I was due to be induced and was doing all I could to avoid it. If I knew then what I know now it wouldn't have even been an option but thankfully my body was on my side and I went into labour on my own. I can clearly remember labouring with him, pushing him out and looking at him for the first time as he lay on my chest. He looked just like Granny Holland which made us both laugh.
He was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.

Christmas

2009-11-14T22:41:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's the middle of November and I haven't worked out our Christmas plans yet. The panic is just starting to set in. We very much suit ourselves at Christmas, thankfully we never got sucked into one of those "this year it's my parents, next year it's yours" arrangements. Why do people allow themselves to get caught up in this?
Christmas was planned, about 10 months ago in fact. We should have been spending it in an Exclusive Riverside Villa, the pool outside our balcony ( so you can drink and yet still be a responsible parent by watching your children ) enjoying cold chicken, salad & seafood ( no hot cooking here ) and just enjoying our little family of four.

But then we had " the leg" and everything changed. The Villa was cancelled, the deposit returned and we were left with no plans.

Our last couple of Christmas' have been tough. Well, tough for me at least. The rest of my family wouldn't agree but then they're not me. I had a romantic idea that the whole family spending Christmas together would be great. Trust me, if you ever have this idea yourself, make sure you have it at someone else's house and that you're just a spectator.
It became bigger than Ben-Hur , probably because somewhere along the way I lost control. And before you start thinking "control freak", I think you have a right to be in control in your own house! It cost a fortune, lasted 3 days, I never got to relax and enjoy it, was exhausted, stressed and cranky. Add to this that my Dad was really ill and we thought it was possibly his last Christmas. And please, trust me when I say that mixing two families for Christmas is not easy.

Last Christmas Jim was working. He'd managed to avoid it for quite a few years so it was his turn. That in itself wasn't that bad, he was here for the all important present opening and home for Christmas dinner but it would have been nice for him to have been here all day. My parents came, this year would be Dad's last Christmas and I think deep down we all knew this. The boys and I did spend a lovely day with them and I'm tearing up just remembering it. I was so thankful I had another chance to celebrate with him. I would have hated the year before to have been it. We had no visitors, just us.

So this year we were running away. We didn't want to think about anyone else but us. And I think that's ok. It's not selfish, it's self preservation. But our plans have changed.

We may just end up spending it in a Golf Course View Bungalow, the pool outside our verandah ( so you can drink and yet still be a responsible parent by watching your children* ) enjoying cold chicken, salad & seafood ( no hot cooking here ) and just enjoying our little family of four.

*fingers crossed that by Christmas the cast might be half the size it is now & waterproofed or be in a moon boot which may allow him to dangle the good leg in the water and get splashed.

Same parents, different child

2009-11-06T04:54:00.000-08:00

People who know us and know us really well, often comment on how different our boys are. They look different, behave differently, like different things and will most likely lead very different lives.

Hamish is the first born, the natural leader. Likes to achieve and do well. On the odd occasion that he doesn't do his best, he'll eventually go back and do it again. He just couldn't live with himself if he didn't. He has no imagination and never has. He was the child who had to build the Lego structure EXACTLY the way the instructions said. He's competitive. Not only could he tell you where he came in a race, he could tell you where every other person came too. He plays to win. He still enjoys the game if he lost but it just isn't the same. He worries about what other people think. When he talks about his future, it's all about him. He has dreams of traveling, can't think of anything worse than being stuck in an office. He doesn't talk about being married and having children, he has too much to do. He's reliable and responsible. We've never had to worry about taking Hamish anywhere, you just knew he would behave perfectly. He's compliant, teachers love him. People think he's cleverer than he really is. Hamish says he's above, above average but below elite, which is true. He can stand up in front of a crowd and speak. He is quite happy with his own company and yet loves having lots of family around. He is easily annoyed by some people but hides it well. He has challenges in life that most of us will never have to face. He loves photography, geography, the outdoors. He wants to be photographer, PE teacher, outdoor/adventure tour guide. Not what most people would expect.

Noah is the youngest, and he hates it. He just can't come to terms with being the youngest in the family. But we look at each other and just know, that being a middle child would be worse. He is the most amazing drawer we have ever seen. From the age of about 2 his artwork has blown us away. Taking Noah to an art gallery brings tears to your eyes. We don't display his drawings on the fridge because he just draws for himself. Page after page after page. Then throws them away or stuffs them in a drawer. He sings like an angel, his voice is so pure but quit choir because he didn't like their song choices. Michael Jackson is his favourite. If you heard him singing "Ben" you would cry. Noah's the kind of kid you either get, or you don't. And if you don't, then that's your loss. His Yr 1 teacher will always hold a special place in our hearts 'cause she got him. He is the most organised person I know. If you said I want you by the front door at 7.32am, ready to go, he would be there at 7.31 with a smile on his face. He says what's on his mind, even if it's offending. He has little understanding of social boundaries. When someone say's "any questions?" you just want the ground to open up and swallow you before he's even opened his mouth. He says what everyone else is thinking. He doesn't have a competitive bone in his body,he makes friends with the opposition. His intelligence scares us and yet sometimes feels untapped.

It would surprise a lot of people if I said he was the easiest kid in the world but it's true. He has very simple needs and as long as they are met, he's happy. Some people just need to take the time to learn what they are. He wants to get married, have children and live in this house. And he wants to get married before Hamish.

He wants to be a surgeon, has for a long time. Not what most people would expect.

Quadratic Functions

2009-10-28T02:48:00.000-07:00

I would like my Yr 10 Maths teacher to prove to me that I have ever needed to use Quadratic Functions in my real, everyday, normal life. The end.

Never Look Forward to Anything.

2009-10-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

Never look forward to anything. That's my motto and I'm sticking to it. Some people think it's a really negative way to live but the way I look at it, you can never be disappointed and often pleasantly surprised.

I've just written and am about to post a cancellation letter. I've been putting it off for a few weeks 'just incase' but the time has come.

I should have followed my own advice :(

10 Frivolous, Materialistic Things I am Grateful For

2009-10-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

My Spencer & Rutherford handbag. I love it. Bought it on a whim, cost too much but worth it.
My pool. I will NEVER live in a house without a pool again. I love swimming and should do it more.
My dishwasher. As someone who hates dirty dishes in the sink, it saves me washing up 10 times a day.
The internet. I can remember Jim telling me about this thing called the internet and all the things you would be able to do on it. My response..."it'll never take off". I'll never live that one down.
My phone. I've hated every mobile phone I've had, got my first in 1995. But then I got an iphone. Apple do make beautiful things.
Decaf coffee. I love coffee too much to drink the hard stuff all the time.
My collection of cookbooks & cooking magazines. Never make any of the stuff in them but just really love reading cookbooks.
Foxtel. I'm not ashamed to say I love TV and Foxtel just makes the experience a whole lot better.
The rest of the books on my bookshelf. I like buying new and find it hard to give away. I have my books ordered in a particular way and find it completely frustrating when publishing companies change the cover design half way through a series of books. If I had unlimited funds I would go out and buy the entire Sue Grafton series in one hit so they all matched.
Minties & Kool Mints. My favourite lollies, usually keep them in the car so I can indulge alone & not have to share.

I need to add one more thing

2009-10-16T00:43:00.001-07:00

I need to add one more thing to my rules for dressing

11. When wearing sneakers, wear white socks. When wearing black shoes, wear black socks. There is no need to ever buy coloured socks unless required by your soccer team.

My own room

2009-10-15T23:31:00.000-07:00

I remember a friend of mine in primary school having her own room. I thought she was the luckiest girl in the world. Her room was white and pink and frilly. Everything matched.

I on the other hand shared a room and I was the younger sister. Which meant I wasn't in charge. It wasn't my room, it was hers and I was just lucky to be sleeping there.

As I became a teenager and my older brother and sisters moved out, I finally got my own room. But it was never really mine. I couldn't decorate it as I pleased and it was not unusual in my house to come home from school and find that mum had not only re-arranged the furniture but had sometimes even re-arranged what room was used for what. Your bedroom was no longer your bedroom, you'd been moved.

I married young and was not only sharing a room again but also sharing a bed. But that's life, it's what you do. And I do love my husband. He doesn't snore, he doesn't steal the covers and more often than me, he makes the bed.

But I need my own space. A room just for me. Sometime in this house we feel that we are bursting at the seams. And sometimes I had nowhere to go. So I made myself a room.

Well, it's actually referred to as "the guest bedroom" but that makes it sound posher than it really is. It's a room that my mum or my sister or any other occasional visitor can sleep in when they visit. But it's still mine, I just lend it to them for a while.

I've put the computer in here, ( which, when considering that I'm the only one in this house that doesn't own a laptop makes it mine ) and I can shut the door when I want to and just write, play Farkle and stalk people on Facebook. I can pay my bills. I can lay on the bed and read. I can think.

The room is crisp and clean and uncluttered. How I wish the rest of my house and my life was. Sometimes I wish I could just shut myself away here forever.

How lucky am I to have my own room. I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Attention span of a nat

2009-10-08T23:25:00.000-07:00

Hamish loves DVD's at the best of times but at the moment they are consuming most of his time, there's not a lot else he can do. He's watched all he has over & over and I've probably bought more in the last two weeks than I have all year. I decided to be brave and go to the library to see what they had to offer ( I REALLY struggle with library books, it grosses me out reading something that about 100 complete strangers also have read and had their hands on, especially if you find a piece of grot stuck to one of the pages..urghhh ) Anyways.....they didn't have a lot to offer but the did have Cast Away.

A great movie I thought, he'll love it. Just wait 'till he gets to the scene where Tom Hanks makes fire ( the menfolk in this house are all pyromaniacs ) that's one of the best scenes in the whole movie. I was hoping he would recognise the characteristics of resilience, resourcefulness, perseverance, and imagination, all things he was going to need over the coming months.

We went in to sort him out for bedtime and I asked him if he'd watched the movie today.

"Well, I tried to but it was boring ".

WHAT??!!!!!

We were just stunned, I agree, the ending is a little lame, but boring? He's an outdoorsy, adventure loving kid, this movie was made for him.

"Yeah, I couldn't even watch it to the end".

"Well, how much did you watch?"

How could the making of the rescue raft & the friendship with Wilson not have stirred something in him.

"When I turned it off, they were just leaving Russia".

HE HADN'T EVEN GOT AS FAR AS THE PLANE CRASH!

My contradictory blog

2009-10-06T03:34:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I read an article that said women, on average, spent 30 years of their life dieting. That was my light bulb moment. I felt like I'd almost used up my quota of life wasting and it was time to stop. I also decided at that time, that I was going to stop being judgmental of other women. Women are so hard on themselves, they don't need others adding fuel to the fire. I would look at other women and wonder why they wore what they did. They had probably agonised in front of the mirror for an hour, just as I had, until they felt happy about going out. They didn't need me to judge them for that. They had their own issues and hangups that they needed to work through. What I thought wasn't going to help or support them. So I've tried to stop. It's hard but I'm working on it.

I do however have my own set of rules for dressing, regardless of your size. I'm not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination but I know what's right...

1. No woman looks good in yellow. No exceptions.

2. Lace is for wedding dresses and lingerie only. No exceptions. Actually the only exception would be if you were going to an 80's party as Andie from Pretty in Pink. Then pink lace on an outer garment would be totally acceptable.

3. Either pay and get fitted for a great bra or wear none at all. An ill fitting bra is not acceptable.

4. Underwear, underwear, underwear. The right underwear is important, no matter what your size, no matter what your outfit.

5. There is no shame in having to buy a bigger size. Trust me, it's better than squeezing into a size too small and looking & feeling miserable.

6. Cosmetic companies are constantly changing their range. If you find a lipstick you love, buy up big. I currently own 4 "Bistro Burgundy" lipsticks. Most days the only makeup I wear is lipstick, I don't leave home without it. Ever.

7. You can never have too many black pants, white shirts, 3/4 black pants, white t-shirts, black shoes or jeans.

8. Your clothes should never be hung on wire coathangers. This might just be me having a Mommie Dearest moment but I'm sure it's true.

9. Red shoes are fab.

10. Red handbags are even fab-er

Ps. Have you worked out by now that I love lists?

Teenage reaction

2009-10-05T14:28:00.000-07:00

Scenario A ....... Teenage girl breaks a leg.

Mothers of friends ring mother of patient. They are full of concern, want to know what happened. How are they doing? How are you doing? What can they do to help? Don't hesitate to call if you need anything. I'll pop around for a coffee when things settle down. The friends want to visit, in a group of course. The friends arrive, they want to hug and kiss and cry. They talk. They've made cards and even made a cake together. They don't want to leave and when they do there is more hugging and kissing and crying.

Scenario B....... Teenage boy breaks a leg.

Mothers of friends ring mother of patient. They are full of concern, want to know what happened. How are they doing? How are you doing? What can they do to help? Don't hesitate to call if you need anything. I'll pop around for a coffee when things settle down. The mothers have made comfort food baskets, have bought chocolates and even make you a dinner to freeze. The odd boy is dragged around to help deliver the offering. But they just look awkward, they don't know where to look or what to say.

Most of the friends offer support via facebook...

"heard you broke ya leg"

"yeah"

"when u bk at skool"

"dunno cant walk yet"

"cool c u "

And for some strange reason, for which I'm sure there is some even stranger explanation, the teenage boy is happy with this.

Annus Horribilis

2009-10-02T04:22:00.000-07:00

If one more person asks me if I'm sick of fetching and carrying for Hamish, I'm going to slap them. Really hard!

Watching your child in pain & struggling to even sit up and get himself comfortable in bed is heartbreaking.

I would do anything for him, and am. Yes, things will get a little easier in time but at the moment they are really hard for all of us. We are facing many months of healing and some exciting plans we had for our family have had to be cancelled.

Tuesday is a huge day for us. Although we are trying to be positive, I'm bracing myself for bad news. We have had a horrible year and just want it to be over. But sadly the new year itself wont be any better. Lets hope summer stays away until at least the beginning of February.

10 rules for taking a plate.

2009-09-24T23:58:00.000-07:00

Your child comes home from school, very excited. Next week they are having a farewell party for one of his friends. He seems to have forgotten that his friend is leaving and he may never see him again. But they are having a party ( sorry, "shared lunch" ).

THE 10 RULES FOR TAKING A PLATE

1. You will ALWAYS be given savoury. Look for the parents with the big smile on their face, skipping out the school gates. They got, "please bring a bottle of drink to share".

2. Your offering must be homemade. NEVER just send along a packet of chips or a box of crackers. If you think you can get away with this, trust me, you can't.

3. Do not spend hours pouring over cookbooks to find the most nutritionally balanced, most organically ingredient offering you can find. If your children don't normally eat it, then chances are that the rest of the class won't either.

4. If you insist on being one of those parents who tries to be clever and sends along a box of frozen party pies, please think about how those party pies are going to be heated. Trust me, the teachers will put a big black mark against your name for that one.

5. If you still want to send the party pies, for goodness sake, send a bottle of sauce too.

6. How much effort the parents have put into their plate can be determined by who carries it into the classroom. Parents who have slaved over a hot stove and made the dish three times 'till it was perfect and were up until 1am doing so, will carry it in themselves. Those who are ashamed of their effort will drive up to the "stop & go" and throw their child & their plate out as quick as they can. This rule also applies to school projects.

7.Think about the container you put your food in very carefully. If you want everyone to know you made the smoked salmon, asparagus & fetta tarts, then place them in a CLEARLY named plastic container. If you are ashamed of your Chicken Crimpy offering, a paper plate is perfect.

8. Instruct your child beforehand to dispose of any leftovers before home time. You do not want to be the parent who is presented with a plate of almost untouched food at pick up time.

9. Instruct your child on the morning of the party of what they should eat. Tell them they really do love vegetable sticks. It wont make a scrap of difference but might make you feel a little better.

10. Every class has " one of those parents". The parent who makes absolutely perfect cupcakes, with the icing piped perfectly on top. She has, with icing, hand written each child's name on the top of a cupcake and declares it was no trouble at all, it only took her 5 minutes. As you leave, point out the cupcakes to your child. Tell them they are made with mushrooms and they'll hate them. You just can't wait to see her face when her named container is returned to her, with a cupcake still inside.

Perhaps I need....

2009-09-19T01:21:00.000-07:00

I think that perhaps I need to start another blog. A private blog just for me. I should call this blog "What I REALLY, really wanted to say. I had something I wanted to blog about but my censor suggested it might be mean. He said to make sure I used my new found Chutzpah for good and not evil. So even though you wont get to find out what it's about, just know, that I'm right.

Reality TV

2009-09-17T03:19:00.000-07:00

I'm having a love affair. It's ok, my husband knows. He leaves the rooms and lets me get on with it. But sometimes, if the mood strikes him, he stays to watch. I can't stand it when self righteous people go on and on about how much they hate reality television. I don't particularly care how well you can dance or whether you might be the next big thing for a record label, so I don't watch. But I do want to know what to cook if four complete strangers turn up for dinner or if I had a loft, how to do a loft conversion and my Wednesday nights just wont be the same without my fix of up and coming designers creating outfits that no one will wear.

If you hate reality TV, then don't watch it. Simple. That's what I do with the football.

Chutzpah!

2009-09-17T02:36:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine has chutzpah. LOTS of chutzpah. She's such a good friend that she's given some of it to me. You have been warned.

What's for dinner tonight?

2009-09-15T03:46:00.000-07:00

I get to about 2 o'clock each day and think " what the hell am I going to make tonight for dinner?". I have one who will eat anything, one who eats nothing, a husband who knows better than to criticise my cooking, and me, who only cooks what I like to eat ( apparently I make a great lasagne, but I hate lasagne, so I never make it ).

For some reason we eat really late, and I mean REALLY late. It's not unusual for us to be sitting down at 7.30 to eat our family meal. That might not be late for some people but we have an 8 year old. When our oldest boy was 8, we had eaten, bathed and bedded by 8pm. But we parent our youngest according to his body clock and he is a night owl. So we eat late. But it still doesn't help with "what's for dinner tonight?".

Happy Fathers Day

2009-09-06T05:34:00.000-07:00

I picked out the best chocolates from the box I bought my husband for Fathers Day, I ate them with his blessing. That's what makes him a great husband.I spent the evening with him in the spa and he got out in the cold to refill my glass. That's what makes him a great husband. When the wine was finished and it was time for a cup of tea, he made it. That's what makes him a great husband. How lucky am I that my boys have such a great role model. Jim doesn't believe in luck, he believes hard work gets you the rewards you deserve, but today, I feel lucky xx